not enough time...

...to do it all. but what to cut out?

anyway, I've got the Today show on this morning while cleaning up from breakfast, and they run this teaser about their upcoming show/promo ‘Today's Biggest, Littlest Jennifer Lopez fan'. Essentially, you send in a short video of your child singing a JLo song and an explanation of why the child should win this contest. Maybe I'm a little old fashioned, but the videos they showed as, I guess, examples of what you might send in were pretty suggestive for pre-teen girls. Don't our children grow up fast enough that we don't need a major media outlet encouraging parents to further speed up the process?

Since I'm moaning. While watching one of the shows on PBS several weeks ago, I made a mental note that one of the underwriter's was JIF, who quips in the their little ad that their peanut butter is for "moms and dads" who care about what their kids eat. Going to their website to try to get the exact wording [don't want to be inaccurate, Barry!], I noticed that the site has a "Mom advisor" and still brag that "Choosy moms choose Jif". Well, this choosy dad still chooses Crazy Richard's.

On the upside, the Today Show also did a piece on men who knit. It might not seem so significant, but every little bit to break down all the old gender stereotypes helps.

I am still working on my little project of self-improvement. Progress seems painfully slow, though.

Great Quotes

I am continually finding great quotes in my wanderings around cyberspace. Usually, the location and quote end up getting lost somewhere in the nether reaches of my grey matter. I am hoping to start some way of tracking them, until then I will subject you to them:

A Man should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently and die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. --Robert Heinlein
found on blue sloth, this became an instant favorite.

Every person, all the events of your life, are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you. - from Illusions, The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah
found on www.exmundane.com

I'm in Denver, I'm in my PJ's

This past weekend I flew out to Denver to visit with an old friend that I hadn't seen in far too long -- almost nine years. Although he only moved to our area half way through our junior year of high school, we quickly became best of friends and were almost inseparable during high school. College came and we went our separate ways. My early departure from college led me to spend a couple of seasons in Colorado, essentially as a ski bum. Dave came out just before I got serious about life and my relationship with my now wife. Dave has been in Colorado ever since, spending nine seasons in Summit County living to ski and ride bikes, and now finishing up a graduate degree in Denver. Prior to this visit, the last time we got together was at my wedding.


Dave had told me (warned me) that he had an old college buddy living with him who was having some trouble getting through substance abuse and other issues. In addition to interacting with this 'interesting' character, I was fortunate enough to see what must have been a deal gone bad. As Dave and I walked his dog over to his girlfriend's place to get a coffee maker, we saw an SUV racing after an individual on foot. We both kind of ducked behind some parked cars after the vehicle lost the pedestrian and drove around looking for them. We saw that vehicle circling around several times later, and I started to think that I might not make my flight home the next day. Staying with my old buddy certainly saved me a few bucks, but I probably slept less on this trip than any other four night period in my life. I think next time, I'll buck up and spring for both my friend and I to stay elsewhere. But, as I told one of the moms in my playgroup today about some of these stories, we agreed that sometimes experiences like that make you think "my life ain't so bad." And really, it ain't.


Now don't get me wrong. I had a great trip. It was great to see an old friend. And while Dave reported to the people who dialed his cell phone every 10 minutes -- his phone was ALWAYS ringing -- that the conditions were mediocre, I thought the skiing was great. Dave's frame of reference is that of someone who until very recently was skiing over 100 days per season and who could pick and choose which days to go on large mountains capable of moving lots and lots of people up the high. My frame of reference lately is bulletproof ice at overcrowded Shawnee mountain in the Poconos.

Friday and Saturday, we skied at Vail. The mountain in overwhelming. There is no way to ski the whole thing in two days. Sunday, Dave stayed in Denver to finish up a school project, so I skied Keystone by myself. I tried to meet up with some of his friends, but failed somehow -- I was a bit late to the appointed meeting place. The neat thing about Sunday though was that I tried telemark skiing. I bought new boots just before going out, because my old boots were giving me such bad boot bang. Guess what, the new ones did the same thing. Although if I'd read the instruction manual that came with them I would have learned that there is a simple, simple way to have at least alleviated the situation if not completely eliminated it. My old boots had four rivets -- two on each side of the ankle -- eliminating the boots ability to pivot around an axis. The new boots have one rivet and one bolt on each side, giving the user the ability to either make the boot very stiff or, by removing the bolts, to make the boot a bit softer. Anyway, after two days of skiing very bumped up terrain, my shins were so torn up and swollen that there was no way they were going to give me a third day. I borrowed Dave's tele gear. Dave prepared me for the fact that I was going to spend a lot of time getting a very up close and personal look at the snow and that I was not going to have a good time. After the first two runs, I considered hanging up the gear and going to rent a snowboard. But being the sadist that I am, I persevered. And by the end of the day, I was dancing my way down the blues and almost enjoying the bumps.

Oh yeah, the title for this post. Dave and I were walking to his girlfriend's house when M and the beasties (may I borrow that, Phil?) called on the cell. I got to speak with all of them. When LuLu and I spoke, here's a piece of what transpired:

LuLu: Guess what, Daddy? I'm at home.
Me: I'm in Denver.
LuLu: I'm in my PJ's.

Too Much

This weekend, we were in the Disney store and LuLu picked up one of the plush dolls, and said, "I won dat. [translates: I want that.]" Then she gets her hand on the price tag, flips it over and says, "itz too muts." Maybe I'm using that excuse a little too often.

Later, we were walking out of the mall -- without having gotten her anything -- and she proclaims, "I won someting nice."

Trendsetter?

The next step in urban fashion?

11 days?

Man, does time fly. I can't believe it's been 11 days since my last post. Sorry for the slack. Updates on below:

Attention Update
I made an appointment with the doc who was vacationing when I entered the last post. It's next Tuesday. Look for a follow up. Also, I had a reader email me asking if I'd ever been checked for allergies. Apparently, he is similarly afflicted (and perhaps also a SAHD or considering the plunge) and his food allergy exacerbates the problem. The funny thing is that I'd never considered allergies to be a problem for me, but one time at Four's allergist (he's eggs, walnuts, dust, and dogs) the doc said that both M and I sound like we had allergy issues and suggested that we look into it. Am I sensing a pattern?

As for Four and his attention deficit, I contacted his peds doc and got some forms to fill out and give to his teachers to also fill out. Still waiting to get the teachers' forms, apparently they want to walk me through it. This is painfully slow.

Stomach Stuff Update
Part of the reason, I was not blogging was that the bug eventually got me too. Thursday morning, several hours after posting, I began to feel the stomach cramps signaling that I would soon be seeing the contents of my stomach. At the bug's peak, I could not move from the couch. Suffice to say, the kids probably got their month's quota of TV that day. But it was gone as soon as it came, and 24 hours later I was back. We were all very excited that our much revered bread-winner had escaped the bug unscathed. We even went to a neighborhood party over the weekend to watch the Eagles defeat the Falcons and earn their first Super Bowl berth in 24 long years. Tuesday morning came and M was now hit by the bug. It was crazy how slowly it moved through the house.

Hyperactive Update
Still continuing with the flying. It's awesome. Did 9 landings this weekend. I've not been riding as much as the flying definitely takes a lot of time for study. I definitely miss the exertion. My sister came over for dinner and just to hang last night. She was telling us about her roommate's dog, who is an Australian cattle dog, and if he doesn't get frequent exercise, he goes a little bonkers. After perusing this Australian cattle dog website, I feel like the human equivalent of this breed, particularly after reading "The Australian Cattle Dog is an EXTREMELY active breed, with mental stimulation being of paramount importance." I am glad to have begun flying which challenges me mentally, but am also so interested in so many other things also that my stack of books to read I constantly growing and never shrinking. [No, Philip, I've not made any more progress with Getting Things Done.]

Brain Dump

Too much going on right now. Matters weren't helped at all when blogger seemed to be having some server problems earlier today. I knew I shouldn't have typed too much without copying it when I got a 404 error just trying to log-in. But, of course, I didn't save the thoughts and emotions that I was pouring out on the keyboard, no, that would have been way too smart.

So instead of the witty and insightful version, what will get captured here is the Reader's Digest version:

Attention
Some calls to folks in the hood and their contacts led to what seem to be some valuable resources for the attention deficit stuff that Four and I are going to explore. Following up with pediatrician, predicting that we'll contact this development peds doc. For me, a doc was recommended who is unfortunately out of town. Hoping the urge to get healthy lasts until her return.

Stomach Stuff
After a dinner out of Mexican food on Friday night, Four proceeded to empty the contents of his stomach into a succession of sheets. It was weird because he was fine for several hours after dinner and then it just hit him like a brick. Then he woke up 'fine' the next day. That night, no problems. Then Sunday night, a few vomiting episodes again. Monday morning, fine. Tuesday afternoon and evening we were treated to diarrhea. Seems fine again. Except now its LuLu. Around 11:30 she threw up. M and I worked together to calm, clean, and console her and her bed. M went back to sleep. I went to basement to put sheets and blankets and puppy (stuffed plush) in washer. No sooner than I got up the stairs, she vomits again. Wish me luck!

Selfless
One night at dinner after saying grace and M.'s prayer for the Tsunami victims, Four says, "I have the great idea. [pauses for can only be effect] Let's have a garage sale. We can sell some of my toys, and send the money to the people in the 'earth shake'."

Hyperactive
This time the term above does not refer to Four, but rather to me and the weekend I had. I was able to squeeze in nearly 80 miles on the road bike and two flying lessons. Yes, flying lessons. This has always been a dream of mine, and I have finally gotten together the motivation, and hopefully, stick-to-it-ive-ness to get it done. Here in the Mid-Atlantic the temps were frigid this weekend, and as I rode along many of the creeks and rivers that follow some of the great riding around here, I was reminded of the beauty of riding. This weekend it was the marked difference in the viscosity of the water flowing down these banks. The absolute or percentage difference I imagine is quite small, but the effect was striking. I likened the thicker, more slow flowing water to the functioning of my own mind lately.

Smart
Today I was backing out of the garage with both munchkins in the car. I don't know how or why but LuLu, not yet two, says "Watz out mGali tar" reminding me not to back into Magali's car which was parked directly behind the van.

I know there's more. I just can't find it.

Following Up on Reaching Out

Pile it on!

Adding to my feeling of ineffectiveness. I just stopped in at got twins?, the site done by a fellow stay-at-home-dad (or full-time father or whatever term happens to not piss off those easily offended by labels), fellow blogger, and apparently fellow road and mountain cyclist. The guy makes me look like a total slacker. He's got streaming video, a live webcam, AND TWINS! Ty, how do you do it?

There's also Philip of Blue Sloth who, though he's in the process of rebounding from a little slump, also deserves serious kudos for making me feel a bit blue and a bit like a sloth.

Maybe I need to start (and finish) the book my wife bought me, Getting Things Done.

Reaching Out

Lately, I feel completely ineffective as a parent, as a husband, as a human. I just feel like we're not working as a family. I mean we totally love each other and we're generally happy, but I feel like somehow I'm failing the kids. It just seems like we're so all over the place. Everything takes forever. I feel like we're losing control. The other day I picked Four up from pre-school, and his teacher says, "Dad, we have to talk." She didn't have time that day but we talked Monday morning after drop-off. Essentially, they are observing many of the behaviors that we are seeing at home. Previous to this we had been taking solace in the fact that while he could be a handful at home, at least he was doing well at school. So long, solace. After the discussion with the teacher, I began trolling the internet as any geek parent would do, and began to essentially reaffirm the amateur diagnosis we feared a couple of years ago, ADD/ADHD. A brother of mine was diagnosed years ago, we joke that my dad and I both have, and now it looks like in addition to my charming good looks, my son has inherited my lack of focus and my surplus of physical energy. While I've been pretty critical in the past of my ability to do this job, I am now even more seriously considering how positive a situation it is to have a likely ADD/ADHD boy staying home with an almost definitely ADD stay-at-home-dad. So, not wanting to give up my current position, at least not full-time, I am planning to get more serious about seeking some behavior modification, therapy, medication, etc. for myself(previous attempts have petered out due lack of stick-to-it-iveness) as well as for Four.

Getting back to Four, if it was just the excess energy I think we could tolerate that, in fact in this society where increasingly hear of the problems of obesity and the numbers of overweight toddlers and pre-schoolers, I actually don't mind the energy level. As I write this, I am beginning to wonder if our increasingly sedentary, prim and proper expectations for youth and schools is not doing a disservice to kids like Four and kids who don't get off their keisters enough. I digress. With Four, its the lack of self control -- grabbing toys from others with out asking, not doing as told, losing focus when doing simple tasks, and the inability to sit still. Even after begging to watch something on the tube, when I finally give in, often just visits the TV in between periods of being a nudge to his sister and playing with toys and jumping on the furniture (despite repeated reprimands and time-outs for the very same action).

I found a website that has an article and checklist for ADHD. As I read it, I couldn't help but think that they had my son pegged. At first, I was very upset and scared about the possibility of such a diagnosis. Now, I almost feel relieved. I feel that since I now know what I'm dealing with, I can better find the skills and tools to help us all cope with it better, and, in the end, help this little boy to become a happy, well-adjusted person who will be loving and well-loved.

More of Funny Things They Say

The other night, I went in to LuLu's room because she was crying. As soon as I opened the door, she felt the need to tell me, "I pying [translated: I'm crying]." It was adorable.

Now I don't remember where we were going, but I had forgotten (or neglected) to put on my seat. LuLu reminds me from the backseat, "Daddy belt on." M and I were floored. I asked rhetorically, in fact more to M, "How old are you?" She thrusts forth her pointer and declares, "I one."

While typing the above I was reminded of something Four said this summer. We were driving my parent's mini-van (a Dodge Grand Caravan) around. We had swapped cars prior to our trip to Ohio. One day, we pulled next to a regular Caravan, not the Grand Caravan. Four says, "Why is that van shorter?" I know some adults who wouldn't notice the difference.

Photo Updates

Just getting around to getting all my digital photos for the past month or so uploaded. If you're friends or family, enjoy. If not, well, you might enjoy some of the pics too. Be well, I'm trying my best to do the same. More on that later.